About

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My name is Melissa. I live in Portland, OR, where I relish the days of cool gray skies and trees wet with mist. Hot coffee in hand, warm fire in the hearth, fuzzy socks on my feet, hair up in a messy bun, comfy tattered jeans, and my favorite old and worn sweatshirt that feels like a warm loving embrace.

What will you find here? The same thing I’m hoping to find here.

Me.

Wife, mother, sister, friend. Motherless daughter.

Redefining life after the sudden loss of my mother. Redefining myself in the hopes of actually finding, loving, honoring and sharing, the real me.

Trudging through each and every messy day, searching for the beauty and goodness. Searching for myself. Defining and redefining. Embracing the perfectly imperfect mess that I am.

Finding my voice. Here in this tiny little space of zeros and ones on the interwebs. Just trying to figure it all out, accept it, and let it be. Hoping to make some connection to anyone who feels the same way and is still trudging through the muck, or who has shaken off the crusted dried up dust and can insight their wisdom and learnings.

Connection. It’s soul-saving, it is.

I welcome your feedback, constructive criticism, encouragement and love. Be gentle with me. Show me how to be gentle with myself.

xo,

Melissa
breatheinbreatheoutlive@gmail.com

PS….Be sure to Follow my blog to be notified of new posts (click the Follow button on the top right side)

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5 thoughts on “About

  1. Lynn Rosen November 15, 2014 / 11:08 pm

    I am touched by your thoughts. Life is a challenge Melissa, we are constantly evolving and it has been my experience that every ten years there is a part of me that changes. It happens for the obvious reason, our lives are constantly evolving. I feel the void to this day of my mothers absence. Loosing loved ones has been a huge challenge and will continue to be so. You have to learn to just love today. That is really all we have.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. panache616 November 25, 2014 / 6:02 am

    Do you know the book “Motherless Daughters” by Hope Edelman and the organization of the same name that she started? It was meant for women whose mothers died when they were young but it is meaningful to anyone of any age. I found it helpful because I felt much like a motherless daughter after my mother became ill with M.S. when I was 13. She was my best friend and her illness, and lack of ability to be the mother I needed and wanted so much, is something I have struggled to come to terms with all my life. I can look for more info. on this group if you want it.
    Love and support to you and congratulations on the blog!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Breathe in. Breathe out. Live. November 25, 2014 / 7:32 pm

      Thank you, Penny. I actually have the book. I haven’t read the whole thing yet, only bits and pieces. I’m glad to hear it was a source of comfort for you. I’ll have to read more of it. And I love Hope Adelman. Thanks for supporting my blog 🙂 xoxo

      Like

  3. Sue Epstein January 4, 2015 / 7:37 am

    Hi Melissa,
    Here is what I’ve learned the long way around…grief never ends but it changes. it’s not a place to stay but a place to rest and pick up the shattered pieces and transform into something of beauty as you continue on your journey. Grief is the price of love.
    I was 20 when my mom died suddenly and Motherless Daughter was my calling card…”Sue Epstein, M.D.” until I realized I’m not motherless. She may not be here physically, but she’s always with me…I see her in the rustling leaves, I hear her laugh in the wind, I feel her tears in the rain and I know she’s watching over me and continues to guide me. Whatever you shared with your mom in life, you still share. People die but relationships don’t. Your mom left all her love with you. Death cannot destroy what she gave you. Instead of closing your eyes and praying for her return, open them and see all she left. Learn to look at her life again instead of her death. Your heart isn’t empty..it’s filled with the love you shared. Little by little, you will begin to hear the peaceful whisper of hope and the feel the gentle prickle of healing. True, you will never be the same but you will be whole. Life is to be lived. You have survived and you are thriving. Often our brokenness opens us up. Her life was a gift and her death will be a growing experience for you. In time you will learn to smile because she lived. She will always be your Rose in December…
    xoxo
    Sue

    Liked by 2 people

    • Breathe in. Breathe out. Live. January 4, 2015 / 10:10 pm

      Thank you for these beautiful words, Sue. I hope one day I’ll look back and feel these wonderful feelings of love and growth and living and thriving. This wound it too fresh right now. I’m still in the throes of agony and anger and betrayal and bitterness. I can’t see past the fog and dark clouds, not yet. There’s still much time spent being consumed with why why why! Trying to make sense out of something so senseless. In my head, I know there’s a peaceful clearing on the other side of this storm. But right now my heart, my heart just doesn’t feel that pull of peace and hope and healing. Not yet. Some day. For now though, supportive words such as yours, and connections made with others who know, who get it, who’ve walked the dark path and come into the light of that peaceful clearing…I hang onto those for dear life. So thank you ❤

      Like

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