strength is what we gain / from the madness we survive :or: having a very public nervous breakdown

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[originally published one year ago today, January 20, 2017…later that day I checked into a residential mental health facility for one week]

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surrendering to grief

feather

Today I am a failure

I’m failing at being a wife
I’m failing at being a mother
I’m failing at being a friend and a lover
I’m failing at saying what I want
I’m failing at asking for what I need
I’m failing at grieving
I’m failing at mourning

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yesterday i failed…today, a slight perspective change

I wrote this yesterday, after an especially emotionally difficult week, weekend, day. I was far far far down the rabbit hole. My train had¬†derailed. This grief and mourning and living and thriving thing….it’s all shit. And it’s not for the faint of heart. None of it.

I wasn’t going to share this here, for all to see. Pity party, table for one please. But I shared my words with some of my tribe, and something beautiful and amazing and inspiring happened. There was no pity. There was no judgment. There was acceptance, and love, and space, and encouragement, and HOLY SHIT YES I FEEL THAT TOO!¬†And THAT, my friends, is the point. Connection, it’s soul-saving. It is.

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