[one year ago] strength is what we gain / from the madness we survive :or: having a very public nervous breakdown

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[originally published one year ago today, January 20, 2017…later that day I checked into a residential mental health facility for one week]

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strength is what we gain / from the madness we survive :or: having a very public nervous breakdown

15966204_10212124360291215_8816137993607110556_n

 

[originally published one year ago today, January 20, 2017…later that day I checked into a residential mental health facility for one week]

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Life Savers

These are my six life savers
I take them each night
without shame
without fear of judgement
out in the open
not hidden in the bathroom
or the closet
two bring me sleep
two bring me alive
two bring me through
all six allow me to breathe
day in and day out

I supplement these life savers
with meditation
and mindfulness
with yoga
and essential oils
with nature and toes in dirt
with lungs filled with fresh crisp air
with giggles of my children
and kisses from my love
with words that bleed
from my fingertips to the page
these are my six life savers

#noshame #mytruth #thestruggleisreal #depression #anxiety #grief #insomnia #ptsd #mooddisorder #bipolar #breathe #everydamnday #transparent #authentic #connection

surrendering to grief

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Today I am a failure

I’m failing at being a wife
I’m failing at being a mother
I’m failing at being a friend and a lover
I’m failing at saying what I want
I’m failing at asking for what I need
I’m failing at grieving
I’m failing at mourning

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how i do grief, and my serious mad girl crush on Jeanette LeBlanc

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I have a little grief gremlin in my head, he moved in at 3am PST on March 25, 2014….he took up residence¬†while my mama was taking her last breath here on this earth and my heart cracked wide open and a huge gaping hole knocked my world off it’s axis.

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